“Another New Dawn” A Success Story by Susan C. Haley
By Jerry D. Simmons | May 6th, 2008 | No Comments » (Click to add yours!)
I’m a writer. Since a small child, I’ve been a writer. It’s my best way of communicating. What often ends up as written words on a page usually begins in the rumblings of inner voices, in dreams, reactions to happenstance, and the little inspirations that fleet unexpectedly through my mind, a mind that was blessed with a pondering instinct. Often for days, I’ll languish in a mind corridor sorting out circumstances, questions, and ideas. My initial reactions to things rarely remain constant as emotions and thoughts, almost endlessly, sort and re-sort themselves.
For most of my adulthood, it was family . . . my husband, two sons, our home, that always perched first and foremost in my life and the purpose for living it. And I wanted it that way. My Jerry was a dream chaser and I was content enough chasing his dreams. My own of being a real writer, was placed on a shelf in a ‘someday’ closet.
Then death penned another new dawn. I was widowed relatively young. My sons were grown and on their own, so now it was the keeping a roof over my head, the financial obligations, that kept my dream safely stored on its ‘someday’ shelf. Oh, I’d soothe myself with all night sessions hunched over a keyboard purging my aching heart; the clattering keyboard sheltering my mind from the empty house and the silence that fairly screamed at me in the wee hours when the rest of the world was sleeping. Countless essays, poems, then the books, were piled on the shelf with the dream stuffed in the closet of a ‘someday’ room. There was the job and the responsibilities . . .
In the years since my husband’s passing, I’d written my way into a world of two published books, several published articles, essays, and poems. I found myself in a leadership role in the Florida Writers Association, and my simple but heartfelt ramblings were beginning to attract attention and sell. I was being invited to do presentations and events for my books and share my experiences. Although I was writing, these accomplishments had to blend around my job and often I had to decline. My dream expanded into soon retiring from the ‘day job’ and really devoting my life to the writing that was the backbone of my personality; and now, the source of strength that willed me forward in my solitary existence. Still, having always been a person driven by a sense of responsibility and loyalty to those, and to what, I’d made my commitments; the dream remained in the closet.
But another new dawn was just beyond the horizon. It so happened that a series of events at work led me to a decision that my time had come. Someday had arrived, in a somewhat unexpected way, but arrived just the same; it was time to empty some closets. I’d trained myself to always listen to the inner voices and they were telling me . . . “it’s now or never.”
I was so sure and so excited at finally deciding to take the plunge, I told family and some friends about my decision. And, I was so disillusioned by the cautions, the bewares, tossed back. “You can’t do that! Don’t burn bridges! How are you going to pay your bills? Don’t do something you’ll be sorry for! Be careful what you do on impulse, you’ll have to live with it! You can’t be without a JOB!” Only my sons and my writer cousin were the exceptions.
At first, I was angry. I thought, talk about bringing a person down! Doesn’t anyone have faith in my ability to pursue my writing? Is it all just talk . . . the support, the accolades for my work? Then, I was hurt. I thought, couldn’t just once somebody close encourage, rally me on, say “You, go girl!”
Then, my pondering nature kicked in and I was sad. It dawned on me . . . these aren’t people who are jealous, competitive. These aren’t people who want to keep me down in their own rigid worlds, people who don’t have dreams. These are people who really do have love and concern. And, they’re people, like me, who are so programmed, so brainwashed by shoulds and should nots, that any deviance scares the wits out of them. They’ve been raised since birth to stay in prescribed molds and put dreams in ‘someday’ closets. These are people who live in fear of the unknown, of taking a risk. They live in fear of wrong choices, so make no choices at all. They exist through a stretch of time, follow all the rules to the letter, obey all the signs, gather their material treasures, and think they’ve lived. How so very sad.
I thought of my father. Were he alive and I did such a thing, he’d be mortified! Often was, at my dream-chasing husband and the daughter who always chased it with him. Yet, always, when I looked really deep into his eyes, I’d see a small twinkle of admiration, a wistful acceptance of our folly and our adventure.
Unlike my husband, Dad died a tired man, a man who’d clung to the mold with a vengeance. His steadfastness, his wars, fifty years of hard work, and his material possessions, his only source of personal pride. He never traveled a road just because it was there. He never chased a dream, felt joy in the adventure of taking a risk. He knew only molded determination. Somehow I think he’s somewhere smiling and saying, “You go, little girl!”
Yet, our dreams aren’t usually fulfilled without a lot of help, encouragement, and active support from others. I have so many in the writing community to thank for my achievements, I’m humbled by that very fact. There are way too many to mention individually in a small space. But, one ‘giant’, and yes, to me he is a giant, who I want to thank here is Jerry Simmons.
I had the good fortune to meet Jer in 2006 at Infinity Publishing’s Annual Conference at Valley Forge, PA. In 2007, I was honored to sit on an “Authors Helping Authors” panel with him at that same conference. It was my first really ‘national’ speaking event and I was bordering on terror. After a practice session, sensing my fear, Jerry positioned himself beside me at the table and held me up to the challenge with gentle murmurings of encouragement. Because of him, I pulled it off quite well and gained a whole new measure of self-confidence and experience. With all his personal success in this complicated and ever-changing world of writing and books, with his always time-burdened schedule, Jerry thinks about others. His contributions are just too numerous to list. Yet, he can always take a few precious moments to give me a personal reply to a question, or guidance in my cries for help. He offers ALL authors a stage in his “Nothing Binding” Community, and a voice in this newsletter and on his website. He’ll graciously appear at fledgling writers groups as willingly as National events. I am a firm believer in the circular tenet that in order to receive, one first must give. Jerry Simmons is the epitome of that philosophy. Thank you, Jer.
A staunch proponent of networking, Susan Haley, a multi-published author of several articles and columns, a coffee table book of essays and poetry, FIBERS IN THE WEB, and a fiction novel, RAINY DAY PEOPLE, sees herself “more in a helpful role” than just that of a fellow writer. She is the book reviewer for The Pepper Tree Press and does copy editing for other writers. Susan lives in Sarasota, Florida. Her heartfelt novel of triumph over tragedy, RAINY DAY PEOPLE is available on Amazon.com, BBOTW.com, Nothingbinding.com BarnesandNoble.com, and can be ordered at your local bookstore. She prefers to keep her own site, www.sucarha.com, non-commercial.
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